Splatoon
This game has been holding my attention since around 2018. It has done a lot of good for me, from finishing the destruction of my gender egg shell to bringing tons of fun moments with friends and even playing a little bit with a competitive team! The mix of the game's intricate visual appeal that is like sugar to my Decora-wearing soul, amazing worldbuilding, fast-paced and simple yet complex game mechanics and one of the best soundtracks to exist never fails to keep me entertained for hours!
Inkling!Aubery
Since Splatoon displays your name above your in-game character, i guess my inkling's name is also Aubery! She lives in the outskirts of Inkopolis in a small apartment that cost near-nothing due to having been abandoned and completely trashed. She's an underground DJ who plays speedcore, raggacore, noise, and so on. She was mostly rejected from the more pop/rock oriented mainstream scene. Thus, she ended up playing at obscure underground events, even wandering as far as Octarian domes. She upkeeps an edgy and somewhat blingy public image and presents herself as big game with her obvious leaning towards heavy and steep learning curve weaponry for ink sports. In reality, she's a goofball once you get to know her, and not as good a player as she poses to be.
My Mains
Range Blaster CB, RM, TC
RB is my all-time favourite bestest main weapon ever. It's not nearly a rational pick, but the geometric, zoning, predictive playstyle is very satisfying. I have conditioned myself to react to the direct hit sound like a clicker-trained kitty. I spent most of my time playing Range Blaster in Splatoon 2 and a bit less by % in Splatoon 3 due to both kits being a bit limited, but it's still my go-to. There will never be another weapon that's as satisfying to mess around with, play games of cat-and-mouse with enemies and get idiotic around-the-wall splats with the huge blast explosion radius!
Wellstring V CB, RM, SZ
Stringers are among the few things Splatoon that work with parabolic trajectories and are not a bucket, which i like. But they were too sniperish for me - until my darling, Wellstring V, got introduced. It relies a lot on smart timing since you can't sit scoped forever with arrows crossing over and spraying chip damage at full charge instead. It allows some nasty corner frags using the arrows like mini-bombs, Demoman TF2 style. It transitions flowingly between passive anchor and aggressive support, and needless to say, it coming with the best special ever is yet another plus.
Flingza Roller CB, SZ
I got into it because huge rollers look awesome, but Dynamo was too tough for me. In Splatoon 2 Flingza had a bonkers suction bomb - tenta missiles kit and was my #2 after RB. In S3, they took the poor thing's suction bomb away and gave it a mine instead, which is probably a bit deserved. However, on some maps Flingza is an absolute tearout machine despite the mines; it allows unexpected maneuvers not possible with other rollers, and a long fat vertical flick makes it my go-to for zones when i feel like getting far more aggressive than what Wellstring allows for.
Honourable Mentions
Favourite Special
If i had to be stuck with one special for a year, it would, without any doubt, be the Ultra Stamp. I play the game to try doing well, but also i am mostly here for the chaotic fun and silly moments. Stamp Delivers in these departments. It's not one of the "efficient" specials that help you do the objective, but it will wreak absolute havoc when used at the right time and place, all while being loud, huge, and best of all, throwable when you're done stamping!
Ranked Modes
#1 Tower Control
If you expected this mode to be the favourite of a Range Blaster main - you were correct! This mode's objective is moving on its own and has a bunch of walls, making it a treat for a highly geometric weapon with an explosion reaching behind corners. It tickles the brain just right and requires good cooperation without running into the solo queue miscommunication bottleneck too hard. If there is a mode i'm trying to genuinely do good at, it's Tower Control.
Top X Power: 2047.50
#2 Splat Zones
Zones come in second, being more treat time than tryhard time to me. The mode's strategies are almost as simple as Turf Wars, while providing enough chaos for me to have fun with. There's nothing more fun than showing up to the splat zone with an Ultra Stamp.. from behind the enemy lines!
Top X Power: 2000.00
#3 Clam Blitz
Surprisingly not the last one - i am genuinely a clam blitz enjoyer; yes, we exist. If the D-pad had more voicelines than "booyah" and "this way", clam would easily be above zones, because all the insane strats, open paths and fast decision-making feels the same as listening to some chaotic speedcore. But due to coordination being hard without a chat, it's only truly fun in a call with a team.
Top X Power: 2000.00
#4 Rainmaker
Last but not least is the rainmaker. It's a healthy middle ground between brain activity and chaotic fun, which makes it enjoyable with a cup of chamomile tea, but it's a bit too balanced for me; not simple enough to go be dumb, not activating enough neurons to be speedcore brain massage. Regardless, i will never refuse some good ol' rainmaker action.
Top X Power: 2000.00
(i definitely was over 2000 in every mode, but i don't have exact numbers for every mode yet.. coming soon!)
Splatoon Music
With all else nice and dandy, what really got me into Splatoon and never let me out was its music. As a musician with my own music-related worldbuilding, I can't stop appreciating all the tiny detail in the music itself and its connection to the world and its inhabitants. The stylistic decisions are often bold and tongue-in-cheek; you would think it shouldn't work, but it does! Whenever i make my own music and think if maybe some decision is "too much", i always think that Splatoon tunes always do the dumbest thing ever, and it rocks so hard! Below is a selection of my favourite tracks, which was.. hard to make. If i could, i'd shove half of the stuff they ever made in there.
#10 Aquariyum - Belly Flop
When someone says "splatoon music" there's a 50% chance my brain comes up with something like this. It's not #1 in this list only because it's not very plot-significant and sort of structurally underdeveloped. But it is so, so unbashedly idiotic in the best way possible that i just can't get enough of it. Samples that make almost no sense next to each other, yet it works. I headcanon this as DJ Octavio's secret alias, this sounds like something he'd come up with.
#9 Turquoise October - Inkstrike Shuffle
The nastiest acid synth line in the entirety of Splatoon series. Once again, it's not in the top of the ranks just because it lacks structure. The somewhat paranoid sounding radio hiss samples and tonality shifts nicely play with the tongue-in-cheek dumb bloopy bassline and spacious stab synth. In game, levels with this music are dark and the goal is to get to a UFO hung in the sky, while it randomly rams you with ink tornadoes out of nowhere, which is fitting.
#8 Squid Squad - Kraken Up
The most euphoric intro ever in the entirety of Splatoon series that gets stuck in the brain for hours after a single listen, followed by a classic anarcho-punk d-beat plus guitar powerchords; you know you love it. At 0:22 vocal doesn't resolve correctly, which is a very Splatoon thing to do - this "incorrect" resolution that fills the songs with personality. In this song, it hits extra nicely!
#7 Front Roe - Sea Me Now
The intro sets a very nostalgic 2007 emopunk mood, but the song quckly spirals into a more positive punkish flow, and does it well. I don't have a lot to say about this song except that i like it a lot. Some unobvious melodic resolutions that just work, as per Splatoon's usual - i wish i knew how to make melodies flow into each other so naturally while keeping the motives separate.
#6 Deep Cut - Smeared Canvas
I was not a big fan of Deep Cut at the game's launch until i heard this song, and liked the band more since. The amazing lighweight breakbeat with poppy synths flowing along with it nicely contrasts with the sort of stacatto-ish vocals. Shiver and Frye harmonize in the best way, and Shiver's awesome eastern folk rooted mordents make me think how this technique found its way even to my own country's folk music.
#5 Wet Floor - Don't Slip
One may call bias because this is one of my faves from the earlier days playing, but this is such a nicely put together song. The 7/4 time signature works absolute wonders. The broken beat accentuates it and becomes even more spaced out during the second half-minute, while still falling within the realm of artsy funk rock - and then it washes you over with the whimsical, somewhat detached synth lead while the beat shifts to 4 on the floor, feeling faster and more direct.
#4 Off The Hook - Acid Hues
I joined Splatoon 2 after the final fest, so i met this song in-game on a Splatfest rerun, and it became an instant favourite. It holds nostalgic memories of playing the said rerun with friends. Attached memories aside, the song arrangement's rubbery texture is extremely addictive; the punchy drums and acid bassline compliment each other like the fandom's favourite cephalopod lesbians themselves do. The vocal harmonizing at 1:00 gives me goosebumps.
#3 Bottom Feeders - Seafoam Shanty
I got a silver medal for this song in Squid Beats 2! Not a gold, but for a legs rhythm game player (PIU/DDR) even this in a hands rhythm game is an achievement. I paid no mind to this song until i got to hear it in headphones: the rolling, howling bass coupled with a bulldozing beat at 0:14 feels like a ship on its course to wreck into the enemy spawn, and the breakdown at 1:03 is peak pirate punk goofiness. Yarr harr!
#2 Chirpy Chips - Shellfie
I can't really pick a fave from Chirpy Chips - they're all so good! Punk plus chiptune always equals pure joy. The simple transposition of the same motive in the second verse at 0:25 is positively, affectionately obnoxious. I wish i was in a band like this. People working on Splatoon music really wore out their POLYSICS influence with this one. Funnily, i learned about them from digging Chirpy Chips, not vice versa!
#1 Squid Sisters - Spicy Calamari Inkantation
What did you expect? Even my twisted music tastes fold before The Song engraved into each and every sea critter's DNA. It is extremely infectuous and gets you to sing its intro while cooking or whatever. The Splatoon 2 Hero Mode ending version feels most intense and fleshed out while not carrying excess detail. It's so good, i barely ever get tired of it. Ya, we ni, marei, mirekyarahire...
Splatoon, graphic assets, music samples, etc (c) Nintendo. Pls don't sue me.